Yet another random update from my (un?)interesting life in Poiters! Ma meilleure amie, Amy, tells me I should give this blog a name, like Quentin, and write in him everyday as to update the world, and Quentin, about my life. I disagree, because I have absolutely nothing I could write everyday except I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm asleep/ not sleeping. I dunno about you, but that doesn't exactly make for good reading... Anyhoo...
It should also be noted that I have my Iron Maiden ticket for next July. YALDIII!!!!
What's been happening? I won't lie, pretty much the same as always. I'll start where we left off; Friday night began at The Cave with some predrinking with Meg M, Lorna, Jess, Hannah G, Meg R, Steve, Braaaaaadon and The other American Guy? and had some bizarre banter, including the comparison between Star Wars and the American political system. We went to est-ouest after that, where I accidentally poured a beer over Meg Reis, then accidentally broke a glass which shards of went flying at her. I don't mean to be clumsy, nor do I have a vendetta against Megan :P We met Dimitri, Ivan and co after that and we went to the Goule for some French musical fun. As the pictures on facebook suggest, it was a fun, mainly drunken night.
The walk home with Dimitri, Dennis, Ivan and Hannah Mc was the highlight though. After teaching them some useful Scottish words (Baltic - always relevant, I think!), Ivan stopped and pointed ahead of him, and the conversation went as follows:
"Lauren... It looks like a bird, but it's not a bird?"
(But, instead, I heard):
"Lauren... You looks like a boy, but it's not a bird?"
(So...):
"Ivan, did you just say I look like a boy? :| "
To which everyone laughed for a hundred years. Turns out it was a quote from a film. As is "Sauce Dallas", to which again we all found very amusing. My hatred for Ivan has never been stronger :P (NB: I don't actually hate Ivan. Most days :P). So for about 15 minutes the five of us stood there shouting about birds that aren't birds, kebabs and Sauce Dallas. You really have to question what goes on in the minds of French people.
Sleep has been a bit of a no lately, so one morning I got up around, oh, 4am? Lit up my peppermint candle and went about rearranging my room, which is now LOVELY! :D Successful times.
The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, stayed in Saturday night as everyone was a little toooo hungover from Friday :P But had a nice night in, discovering some old videos from when I was about 17... Unattractive times, it has to be said.
Renaud had bantered back to Angouleme on the Friday night and was gone till Sunday, so I met him off the train and we went to stay at his. Through the course of staying at his a few nights a week this past fortnight, I have made a few interesting (or not) discoveries.
1. He has the most bizarre snore I've ever heard in my life - probably because he is French.
2. He talks in his sleep, mostly about being cold, hungry, or random French nonsense.
3. He grind his teeth in his sleep. I can't tell you how annoying it is. :P
4. He likes to whack me in his sleep, while I sleep.
Now, I do not mean the latter in a wife-beaterish way, so put the pitch forks away, but more in a "I'm just gonna throw my limbs all over the place in a really ungraceful manner whilst I toss and turn" sort of way. Most of the time, this results in me being hit in the face. I remember one time Rebecca did it when we were sharing a bad and, being sisters, I assumed she meant it, so whacked her back, much to her surprise. So night time abuse is nothing new to me. The first time it happened I was just dropping off to sleep, then a cold hand whacked off the top of my head. I promptly spun round like "RENAUD, WHAT YOU DOIN MATE?" for him to be mumble something and snore in my face. After keeping me awake all night with his snoring, mumbling and random shivers. The next night, he proceeded to spin round and head butt me in the face. Which in turn woke up him, and he complained about being awake for ages. Nevermind my face being attacked. He does not remember these incidents, SURPRISE SURPRISE... But it's ok because we played Star Wars and listened to 90's music and had nice times :)
I'm sorry this blog has been boring so far. It's hard to think what to write sometimes. Stuff that's relevant or interesting. It's pretty cold over here just now and reports are saying we're going to get snow too. Aye that's gonna be a total laugh.
Sauce Dallas et a plus tard!
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Does "All departures" apply to me?
Time for another update on my European adventure, albeit two weeks back into it! The journey from Glasgow to Stanstead was fairly uneventful, apart from looking for Gate 3 instead of Gate 11, then waiting 4 days on a woman "running" (ha) to board the train, and the loser beside me who couldn't resist sitting with their Ipad on Facebook the entire time. I proceeded to listen to some Drum and Bass at an annoyingly loud level just to portray my distaste. On arrival at Stanstead, I approached the desk that said "All departures". Not feeling the wisest at 8.30 am, I asked the woman, who then looked at me rather worryingly:
"Excuse me, but does "All departures" apply to me, too?" WELL, ONLY IF YOU PLAN ON FLYING, LAUREN :/ After a quick jaunt through security, I got myself an Irn Bru, some crisps, a copy of Glamour and begrudgingly took a free copy of "The Times". I then discovered the MAC counter and literally had to drag myself away for fear of bankruptcy. I had to choose between being homeless, or looking fabulous. I'd a looked damn good on the streets!!
A few hours later, Zoe Boden arrived and we flew back to Poitiers in one piece. After being the last to be picked up by the taxi, I quickly ran into my apartment to get changed, eat and pack a bag as I headed to Angouleme. I accidentally got on a slow train, and had a confusing journey through various places on the way to Angouleme. Renaud was there to meet me off the train, and we had a romantic hug on the platform, before I started to babble incoherently about how nervous I was to meet his parents. Needless to say, after almost 2 weeks on Scottish soil, my accent had become thicker, broader and quicker than the bizarre version I had to create as to be understood in Poitiers, so communication between us was a little difficult. Still, after a lot of shrugging, repeating, and generally beating the language barrier to death, we arrived at Renaud's home. To which I hid behind a wall and refused to enter, before his mum found me cowering in fear and ushered me indoors with Renaud laughing at me. His mother, Christine, his dad, Patrick and his younger sister, Margot, were all there to greet me, and it was lovely! And the one thing I did appreciate, though it terrified me to death, was that they spoke at a normal French pace with proper French accents - i.e. 100mph, and just as inarticulate as I am with English. It was VERY difficult, but I got the gist of everything pretty quickly. We went to a party thing with his parents that evening, and after some food, some music and well a bottle or two of rose, I was off speaking French and boring them about my uni. And also dancing with his mum. Not really sure why, but it was fun anyway!
The next day, we visited his grandfather and other members of his family before have a banter off round Angouleme. After persuading him to come into ZARA and H&M, then leaving 5 minutes later because the look of utter despair had arrived on his face, I got to see all the art on the walls of buildings in Angouleme. But, forgot my camera. As I am an idiot. Still, it was a lovely place! We met Ivan later on that night for some drinks in Hacienda, a weird kind of jazz bar. I still hate jazz, but I did educate Renaud on the differences between malt and blended whiskeys, and how you should drink them - not with coke, like he does. He and Ivan also took great delight in the fact my Mum's maiden name is Campbell, as they drink "Clan Campbell" whiskey, so are excited I am from that "Clan". Just like how Renaud asked me "Do you know what H.D. is?". No, sorry; In Scotland, we still either live in castles or mud huts and wear kilts everyday.
The rest of the time in Angouleme was fairly uneventful, apart from me becoming ill and my left tonsil swelling uncontrollably, sleeping till all hours of the day, drinking a hell of a lot of coffee, Renaud completing Zelda, and the joys of French television. After a half hour delay we got the train back on the Tuesday, and that was that. Back in Poitiers!
Thursday brought the arrival of yet another party in Dimitri's, where we consumed much alcohol - some of us more than others!!! It was a good night though, despite a little drama here and there! Friday again was quiet, only because we were resting for Saturday. Now, Saturday. There's a tale. The night began with Hannah G and I watching "Anchorman", shouting out the quotes continually, and drinking (very strong) White Russians. After spilling milk on my floor, stealing my make up, and other forms of verbal abuse, we left for Megan Maguire's house, where she, Lorna, Zoe and Jess were already getting the party going. After a rather revealing game of "I've never", the conversation descended into the most disgusting topics that I will not put on here as they will probably upset my mother - BUT YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WERE! A few sex on the beaches, white Russians, and whatever the hell else later, we were soon dancing to my ssupposedly "shite" choice in music, such as the Spice Girls, Vengaboys, various rap songs, and whatever else. Hannah Mc and Marta showed up just as we began to dance around, and the pictures certainly proved we had a good time. If not a bit of a drunken, mad time.
Hannah, Hannah, Marta and I went to a little bar near Meg's for some drinks, and on the way to the toilets Hannah G and I discovered some kind of secret passage way thing. I.E. we got VERY lost. Still, we discovered plates, bottles of wine, cups/grails... It's all a bit hazy and strange now, but we tried to go further down but got scared and ran back up the stairs, with me shouting "I FEEL LIKE SOMETHINGS CHASING ME!!". Hannah got freaked out and went home after that, and Hannah Mc, Marta and I went to the goule where we had a good old boogie.
Wednesday this week brought an early installment of Dimitri's party, as we had the day off today for remembrance day - how banterful of you, France. Again, alcohol was consumed and much banter was had! It was also Katie's first night out since her return fro Glasgow, and Marta's 21st! After some delicious pecan pie/cake/whatever, Marta's friends gave her presents and the birthday girl proceeded to get fairly drunk. But we made her happy, so we were happy!
Tonight (jeudi soir) I am resting up and doing nothing. Watching some Family Guy, South Park, chatting online and drinking tea. Tomorrow is where the party's at!
On that note, here is a quote from last night that represents every one's liking of my globe necklace, and how we Scottish/English/Irish etc folk have a really gay way of saying "happy birthday":
ERASMUS IN A GLOBE.COM/ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
"Excuse me, but does "All departures" apply to me, too?" WELL, ONLY IF YOU PLAN ON FLYING, LAUREN :/ After a quick jaunt through security, I got myself an Irn Bru, some crisps, a copy of Glamour and begrudgingly took a free copy of "The Times". I then discovered the MAC counter and literally had to drag myself away for fear of bankruptcy. I had to choose between being homeless, or looking fabulous. I'd a looked damn good on the streets!!
A few hours later, Zoe Boden arrived and we flew back to Poitiers in one piece. After being the last to be picked up by the taxi, I quickly ran into my apartment to get changed, eat and pack a bag as I headed to Angouleme. I accidentally got on a slow train, and had a confusing journey through various places on the way to Angouleme. Renaud was there to meet me off the train, and we had a romantic hug on the platform, before I started to babble incoherently about how nervous I was to meet his parents. Needless to say, after almost 2 weeks on Scottish soil, my accent had become thicker, broader and quicker than the bizarre version I had to create as to be understood in Poitiers, so communication between us was a little difficult. Still, after a lot of shrugging, repeating, and generally beating the language barrier to death, we arrived at Renaud's home. To which I hid behind a wall and refused to enter, before his mum found me cowering in fear and ushered me indoors with Renaud laughing at me. His mother, Christine, his dad, Patrick and his younger sister, Margot, were all there to greet me, and it was lovely! And the one thing I did appreciate, though it terrified me to death, was that they spoke at a normal French pace with proper French accents - i.e. 100mph, and just as inarticulate as I am with English. It was VERY difficult, but I got the gist of everything pretty quickly. We went to a party thing with his parents that evening, and after some food, some music and well a bottle or two of rose, I was off speaking French and boring them about my uni. And also dancing with his mum. Not really sure why, but it was fun anyway!
The next day, we visited his grandfather and other members of his family before have a banter off round Angouleme. After persuading him to come into ZARA and H&M, then leaving 5 minutes later because the look of utter despair had arrived on his face, I got to see all the art on the walls of buildings in Angouleme. But, forgot my camera. As I am an idiot. Still, it was a lovely place! We met Ivan later on that night for some drinks in Hacienda, a weird kind of jazz bar. I still hate jazz, but I did educate Renaud on the differences between malt and blended whiskeys, and how you should drink them - not with coke, like he does. He and Ivan also took great delight in the fact my Mum's maiden name is Campbell, as they drink "Clan Campbell" whiskey, so are excited I am from that "Clan". Just like how Renaud asked me "Do you know what H.D. is?". No, sorry; In Scotland, we still either live in castles or mud huts and wear kilts everyday.
The rest of the time in Angouleme was fairly uneventful, apart from me becoming ill and my left tonsil swelling uncontrollably, sleeping till all hours of the day, drinking a hell of a lot of coffee, Renaud completing Zelda, and the joys of French television. After a half hour delay we got the train back on the Tuesday, and that was that. Back in Poitiers!
Thursday brought the arrival of yet another party in Dimitri's, where we consumed much alcohol - some of us more than others!!! It was a good night though, despite a little drama here and there! Friday again was quiet, only because we were resting for Saturday. Now, Saturday. There's a tale. The night began with Hannah G and I watching "Anchorman", shouting out the quotes continually, and drinking (very strong) White Russians. After spilling milk on my floor, stealing my make up, and other forms of verbal abuse, we left for Megan Maguire's house, where she, Lorna, Zoe and Jess were already getting the party going. After a rather revealing game of "I've never", the conversation descended into the most disgusting topics that I will not put on here as they will probably upset my mother - BUT YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WERE! A few sex on the beaches, white Russians, and whatever the hell else later, we were soon dancing to my ssupposedly "shite" choice in music, such as the Spice Girls, Vengaboys, various rap songs, and whatever else. Hannah Mc and Marta showed up just as we began to dance around, and the pictures certainly proved we had a good time. If not a bit of a drunken, mad time.
Hannah, Hannah, Marta and I went to a little bar near Meg's for some drinks, and on the way to the toilets Hannah G and I discovered some kind of secret passage way thing. I.E. we got VERY lost. Still, we discovered plates, bottles of wine, cups/grails... It's all a bit hazy and strange now, but we tried to go further down but got scared and ran back up the stairs, with me shouting "I FEEL LIKE SOMETHINGS CHASING ME!!". Hannah got freaked out and went home after that, and Hannah Mc, Marta and I went to the goule where we had a good old boogie.
Wednesday this week brought an early installment of Dimitri's party, as we had the day off today for remembrance day - how banterful of you, France. Again, alcohol was consumed and much banter was had! It was also Katie's first night out since her return fro Glasgow, and Marta's 21st! After some delicious pecan pie/cake/whatever, Marta's friends gave her presents and the birthday girl proceeded to get fairly drunk. But we made her happy, so we were happy!
Tonight (jeudi soir) I am resting up and doing nothing. Watching some Family Guy, South Park, chatting online and drinking tea. Tomorrow is where the party's at!
On that note, here is a quote from last night that represents every one's liking of my globe necklace, and how we Scottish/English/Irish etc folk have a really gay way of saying "happy birthday":
ERASMUS IN A GLOBE.COM/ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Och aye the noo!!
My fabulous Scottish adventure has ended! Unfortunately, because of the crazy French pension strikes, my Ryanair flight on Thursday 28th October was cancelled, so I must fly to Stanstead on Friday morning, at like 8 am, then wait a few hours then fly from there to Poitiers around about 12 o'clock. So bar this slightly irritating news, my week and a half here has been fabulous!
After staying at Amy and Taylor's for some wine drinking, watching crap tv and getting trapped in the mini jail again for a while, the week was fairly uneventful. I visited my grandmother, bantered around Greenock with Becca and met up with Lyall and Max in Cafe Balfe for some good catching up and some chocolate fudge cake. After learning that me driving after 6 weeks wasn't the best idea, as I seemingly kept nearly ramming another car (I didn't though!), we got to Balfe in one piece, if not a little deaf due to blasting some David Guetta and other crazy French tunes at crazy decibel levels. We gossiped, discussed the Frenchman, and I told them about my fabulous life as an aristocratic French gentlemen. I also learned and have since continued to use our newest catchphrase - Dreamboat. Slightly frightening when Max says it to Lyall, but that's because it's Ladies Night and we're feeling right!! A short trip to Tesco followed, where Max kept reminding me to buy bread and butter, but instead I bought bread and milk, only realising when I got home that instead of 2 litres of milk, I only needed a small tub of butter. I blame the language barrier...
Many quotes have been had over the past week, including "One night in the USSR: The memoirs of Lauren Aitken"; "I even thought he was hot!" "...You say that as if you're a lesbian"; "You're such a DREAMBOATTT!!"; "I spent many years fantasising about academic life"; "A bank of adjectives!"; "Psycho killer, QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST?!"; "Apparently, she ate a chicken wrap?!"; "Mange a bonttt" (NOT REAL FRENCH, just a nice "rhyme" Max made). I've also been asked about a thousand times, "Have you had frogs legs or snails?" and the answer is NON. Also, my tasty Frenchman informs me that less than 5% of the French population eat snails, so there's one to remember for any quiz nights.
Saturday brought the semi-annual (lol) trip to RED, where we had many a £1 drink and shots, and i managed NOT to spill the Jaffa Cake shot down myself (it's a split shot glass). After dancing rather crazily to "Commander", Lyall, Becca, Louise, Sally, Dunning and I took command (HAHAHA :| ) of the stage and danced well into the night. Many an attractive picture was taken, as well as a few videos? That you can't see anything in? Silly Lauren, filming the darkness/strobe lights : /
On Sunday, my parents took Rebecca and I to Braehead for some shopping, and they spent many a pounds on lovely new clothes for us, including a lovely jacket from Dorothy Perkins FOR £5!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was very excited. We also had a tasty Starbucks and a big Sunday dinner, so all were happy :D Even mum and dad got new clothes haha!
Monday night brought another trip to Amy's flat, where we got ready for a metal night out on the town! Sally was with me on the train to Queen's Park (Glasgow) in order to pick up her Halloween costume from Amy's (COSTUME REMAINS UNDISCLOSED). All I can say is that she will look EXCELLENT. Though the three of us did experiment with false facial hair, and it must be said that Amy and I REALLY SUIT BEARDS!! Facebook will have the pictures shortly :D A few vodka's and singalongs later, Amy and I bantered off to the Solid Rock, only to discover that it was a ticketed event only!! So after some skipping, taking random pictures etc, we went to Rufus T's, it's sister bar, for a large jug of Blood Bath cocktails :) Which were tastier than it sounds! After some gossip, a large amount of bitching about life, complaining about Scotland, conceding that we love Scotland but wish it was a tad more exciting, getting a few more vodka's and JD's on the go, running to the bathroom and getting lost, and missing yet another pub quiz, we went to Firewater for some fun. After deliberating whether to hit The Garage or Campus, we got ANOTHER jug of cocktails, ran away from some men in suits, and found a nice cosy booth to have a romantic time. Crazy picture time happened here, and our happiness and love for one another poured out, as we reminisced about past times and how much we missed one another, like a couple reunited after the war.
We decided just to stay in firewater deliberating should we enter the padded wall dance floor (we didn't). Amy had been singing the Talking Head's song "Psycho Killer" all night, and it came on, making us very excitable as we danced in our seats (coincidentally, next to the dance floor). The alcohol finally hit us at long last, i.e. after some shots and Jagerbombs, and we got all emotional, telling each other never to leave one another etc. We got a taxi home not long after that, and we cooked a pizza and I ate ALL OF IT. AND I'D DO IT ALL AGAIN!!
The next morning wasn't funny though. Hungover and a tad cranky, Amy and I shuffled off to Glasgow uni as she had classes. I sat in the Reading Room instead with a coffee, slightly dying, but remembering the year before where we would all meet at 11 for brunch/lunch/etc. I almost text everyone, till I remembered I was only a visitor. It has taken me this week and a half to acclimatise, i guess, to Scotland and living with my parents again. It is a very odd concept I'll admit. We had some food in the QMU, and went off to take pictures, much to Amy's embarrassment. We then had a manly slapping hug, and we parted for another 7 weeks. Sad times :(
I got my hair cut again on the Tuesday, and had a good chat with the Frenchman and a few others back home. It should also be noted that Zoe Boden and I share an eternal love for Heath Ledger, and that he WAS pretty guy :D
Today (Wednesday), I had a long lie and then Rachel, Rebecca and I watched "Hocus Pocus" and then "The fox and the hound". IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I've just sat and watched tv in my jammies avec the parents for the rest of the night. It's nice to sit and sleep on comfy furniture again!
Tomorrow I have the doctors, visiting my nanny and some shopping to do. Then it's back to Poitiers, then off to Angoulême on Friday evening! Look out, Poitiers... I'm bringing Irn Bru with me :D
After staying at Amy and Taylor's for some wine drinking, watching crap tv and getting trapped in the mini jail again for a while, the week was fairly uneventful. I visited my grandmother, bantered around Greenock with Becca and met up with Lyall and Max in Cafe Balfe for some good catching up and some chocolate fudge cake. After learning that me driving after 6 weeks wasn't the best idea, as I seemingly kept nearly ramming another car (I didn't though!), we got to Balfe in one piece, if not a little deaf due to blasting some David Guetta and other crazy French tunes at crazy decibel levels. We gossiped, discussed the Frenchman, and I told them about my fabulous life as an aristocratic French gentlemen. I also learned and have since continued to use our newest catchphrase - Dreamboat. Slightly frightening when Max says it to Lyall, but that's because it's Ladies Night and we're feeling right!! A short trip to Tesco followed, where Max kept reminding me to buy bread and butter, but instead I bought bread and milk, only realising when I got home that instead of 2 litres of milk, I only needed a small tub of butter. I blame the language barrier...
Many quotes have been had over the past week, including "One night in the USSR: The memoirs of Lauren Aitken"; "I even thought he was hot!" "...You say that as if you're a lesbian"; "You're such a DREAMBOATTT!!"; "I spent many years fantasising about academic life"; "A bank of adjectives!"; "Psycho killer, QU'EST-CE QUE C'EST?!"; "Apparently, she ate a chicken wrap?!"; "Mange a bonttt" (NOT REAL FRENCH, just a nice "rhyme" Max made). I've also been asked about a thousand times, "Have you had frogs legs or snails?" and the answer is NON. Also, my tasty Frenchman informs me that less than 5% of the French population eat snails, so there's one to remember for any quiz nights.
Saturday brought the semi-annual (lol) trip to RED, where we had many a £1 drink and shots, and i managed NOT to spill the Jaffa Cake shot down myself (it's a split shot glass). After dancing rather crazily to "Commander", Lyall, Becca, Louise, Sally, Dunning and I took command (HAHAHA :| ) of the stage and danced well into the night. Many an attractive picture was taken, as well as a few videos? That you can't see anything in? Silly Lauren, filming the darkness/strobe lights : /
On Sunday, my parents took Rebecca and I to Braehead for some shopping, and they spent many a pounds on lovely new clothes for us, including a lovely jacket from Dorothy Perkins FOR £5!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was very excited. We also had a tasty Starbucks and a big Sunday dinner, so all were happy :D Even mum and dad got new clothes haha!
Monday night brought another trip to Amy's flat, where we got ready for a metal night out on the town! Sally was with me on the train to Queen's Park (Glasgow) in order to pick up her Halloween costume from Amy's (COSTUME REMAINS UNDISCLOSED). All I can say is that she will look EXCELLENT. Though the three of us did experiment with false facial hair, and it must be said that Amy and I REALLY SUIT BEARDS!! Facebook will have the pictures shortly :D A few vodka's and singalongs later, Amy and I bantered off to the Solid Rock, only to discover that it was a ticketed event only!! So after some skipping, taking random pictures etc, we went to Rufus T's, it's sister bar, for a large jug of Blood Bath cocktails :) Which were tastier than it sounds! After some gossip, a large amount of bitching about life, complaining about Scotland, conceding that we love Scotland but wish it was a tad more exciting, getting a few more vodka's and JD's on the go, running to the bathroom and getting lost, and missing yet another pub quiz, we went to Firewater for some fun. After deliberating whether to hit The Garage or Campus, we got ANOTHER jug of cocktails, ran away from some men in suits, and found a nice cosy booth to have a romantic time. Crazy picture time happened here, and our happiness and love for one another poured out, as we reminisced about past times and how much we missed one another, like a couple reunited after the war.
We decided just to stay in firewater deliberating should we enter the padded wall dance floor (we didn't). Amy had been singing the Talking Head's song "Psycho Killer" all night, and it came on, making us very excitable as we danced in our seats (coincidentally, next to the dance floor). The alcohol finally hit us at long last, i.e. after some shots and Jagerbombs, and we got all emotional, telling each other never to leave one another etc. We got a taxi home not long after that, and we cooked a pizza and I ate ALL OF IT. AND I'D DO IT ALL AGAIN!!
The next morning wasn't funny though. Hungover and a tad cranky, Amy and I shuffled off to Glasgow uni as she had classes. I sat in the Reading Room instead with a coffee, slightly dying, but remembering the year before where we would all meet at 11 for brunch/lunch/etc. I almost text everyone, till I remembered I was only a visitor. It has taken me this week and a half to acclimatise, i guess, to Scotland and living with my parents again. It is a very odd concept I'll admit. We had some food in the QMU, and went off to take pictures, much to Amy's embarrassment. We then had a manly slapping hug, and we parted for another 7 weeks. Sad times :(
I got my hair cut again on the Tuesday, and had a good chat with the Frenchman and a few others back home. It should also be noted that Zoe Boden and I share an eternal love for Heath Ledger, and that he WAS pretty guy :D
Today (Wednesday), I had a long lie and then Rachel, Rebecca and I watched "Hocus Pocus" and then "The fox and the hound". IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I've just sat and watched tv in my jammies avec the parents for the rest of the night. It's nice to sit and sleep on comfy furniture again!
Tomorrow I have the doctors, visiting my nanny and some shopping to do. Then it's back to Poitiers, then off to Angoulême on Friday evening! Look out, Poitiers... I'm bringing Irn Bru with me :D
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Alba gu brath!
Hello from a sunny but rather cold Scotland! I finally made it back on Sunday 17th, safe and sound. So the week before...
Tuesday night was the first time visiting Renaud's flat, and we had a lovely wee night listening to crazy music, like Motown, some Ozzy, and me embarrassing myself over and over by shouting "WHY IS THIS FILM/YOUR KEYBOARD/ THIS SONG IN FRENCH?" at him, then realising what I was saying. Needless to say, he thinks I'm a little crazy, but in an acceptable way. He also made me tea in a tumbler, which was nice :D Gettin the bus back was a riot though, as I got off around a million stops too early and had to walk for 40 minutes :( uncool.
Jeudi soir was pretty funny :D Renaud, Hannah G, Anna and I sat and got pretty drunk in my room, dancing wildly to Dubstep, DnB, etc... But then I got a lil bit too drunk on the old voddy, and was ordered to my bed. With some reluctance, I stayed in my bed and that was that. Friday night wasn't much better, but did include a kebab that had a fried egg on it, the realisation that "CHILLI SAUCE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!", and my embarrassment at encoutering some of our French friends whilst holding said kebab. Hannah Mc thought it was really funny that all I said was: "Shit, there's Dimitri... N AH'VE GIT A KEBAB!" whilst munching into chips, and Dimitri also had a good chuckle, pointing at the container saying "Kebab?". Yes, it was a kebab. I feel no shame in my late night, post-drink choice of snack. Still, on the way home I let out a low-tone scream at how bizarre I must have looked. Even the man who served me looked slightly confused - Girls must not eat kebab's that often. Just like how when we ask for a pint, we get a half pint. I MEAN, REALLY :| If it was Scotland, I could sit there with a pint, munching down on a kebab, and noone would bat an eyelid.
Saturday was Laoise's 21st birthday, and it was a success. After some afternoon shopping with Lisa, which involved buying a lovely new metallica green dress from H&M, I went home to make some pasta and eat some dinner. Probably half of Poitiers' student population was in the building, but it was an excellent party! After some pre drinking at Hannah Mc's, and encountering Renaud and Dimitri in the street and hearing their very bizarre insults at one another, we got lost for a hundred years because noone would listen to my directions (HANNAH!! :P:P). Despite needing to get up early for a flight, we bantered off to the Grand Goule to have an AMAZING night :D The photos are a bit... well... awful... but it was hilarious anyway. I specifically remember laughing at a picture of Hannah and Dimitri for a good 100 years - good job Nicole lent me her batteries!
So here I am back in Scotland. After standing in several wrong queues, I managed to get on a plane by myself, and met Becca and Dad at Edinburgh airport to get home. After a tasty dinner made by my wee mammie, me n becca had a nice time together watching rubbish tv and catching up. Last night, I stayed and Amy and Taylor's and we had a right good old laugh, including Taylor's discovery of Vodka and Tonic, our favourite wine, eating A LOT of crisps and dips, and watching disgusting food shows. MGM, CHICKEN KIEVS AND HOTDOGS ARE OFF THE MENU!
Also, it should be pointed out that Amy found him hot too :P
Again, sorry for a slightly more boring blog, but again, I'm not a comedian; I'm merely ginger.
Tuesday night was the first time visiting Renaud's flat, and we had a lovely wee night listening to crazy music, like Motown, some Ozzy, and me embarrassing myself over and over by shouting "WHY IS THIS FILM/YOUR KEYBOARD/ THIS SONG IN FRENCH?" at him, then realising what I was saying. Needless to say, he thinks I'm a little crazy, but in an acceptable way. He also made me tea in a tumbler, which was nice :D Gettin the bus back was a riot though, as I got off around a million stops too early and had to walk for 40 minutes :( uncool.
Jeudi soir was pretty funny :D Renaud, Hannah G, Anna and I sat and got pretty drunk in my room, dancing wildly to Dubstep, DnB, etc... But then I got a lil bit too drunk on the old voddy, and was ordered to my bed. With some reluctance, I stayed in my bed and that was that. Friday night wasn't much better, but did include a kebab that had a fried egg on it, the realisation that "CHILLI SAUCE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!", and my embarrassment at encoutering some of our French friends whilst holding said kebab. Hannah Mc thought it was really funny that all I said was: "Shit, there's Dimitri... N AH'VE GIT A KEBAB!" whilst munching into chips, and Dimitri also had a good chuckle, pointing at the container saying "Kebab?". Yes, it was a kebab. I feel no shame in my late night, post-drink choice of snack. Still, on the way home I let out a low-tone scream at how bizarre I must have looked. Even the man who served me looked slightly confused - Girls must not eat kebab's that often. Just like how when we ask for a pint, we get a half pint. I MEAN, REALLY :| If it was Scotland, I could sit there with a pint, munching down on a kebab, and noone would bat an eyelid.
Saturday was Laoise's 21st birthday, and it was a success. After some afternoon shopping with Lisa, which involved buying a lovely new metallica green dress from H&M, I went home to make some pasta and eat some dinner. Probably half of Poitiers' student population was in the building, but it was an excellent party! After some pre drinking at Hannah Mc's, and encountering Renaud and Dimitri in the street and hearing their very bizarre insults at one another, we got lost for a hundred years because noone would listen to my directions (HANNAH!! :P:P). Despite needing to get up early for a flight, we bantered off to the Grand Goule to have an AMAZING night :D The photos are a bit... well... awful... but it was hilarious anyway. I specifically remember laughing at a picture of Hannah and Dimitri for a good 100 years - good job Nicole lent me her batteries!
So here I am back in Scotland. After standing in several wrong queues, I managed to get on a plane by myself, and met Becca and Dad at Edinburgh airport to get home. After a tasty dinner made by my wee mammie, me n becca had a nice time together watching rubbish tv and catching up. Last night, I stayed and Amy and Taylor's and we had a right good old laugh, including Taylor's discovery of Vodka and Tonic, our favourite wine, eating A LOT of crisps and dips, and watching disgusting food shows. MGM, CHICKEN KIEVS AND HOTDOGS ARE OFF THE MENU!
Also, it should be pointed out that Amy found him hot too :P
Again, sorry for a slightly more boring blog, but again, I'm not a comedian; I'm merely ginger.
Monday, 11 October 2010
NUTS FOR NUTELLA!
It's a crazily warm Monday evening - the perfect time for another blog!
Well! The madness that has gone on the past week or so...
Last week, I decided I'd go and get my nose pierced! After a 2 day build up, soul searching etc, Megan, Hannah Mc and I bantered over to the tattoo and piercing parlour, where I casually enquired (15 minutes before closing time) "Ce possible d'avoir une piercing de ma nez?", to which the man gave me a very amused look and said "Mais, oui!" (no joke) and ushered us to the waiting area. After discussing whether I'd get a ring or stud (We'll leave the ring for Megan) I was taking into the piercing room - on my own. After being given all the info and instructions in French (AND UNDERSTANDING! :D) the lovely girl presented me with the needle she'd be stabbing my face with. Some panic ensued, but not as much as usually. She clamped my nose with tongs, which made me giggle, before proceeding to stab my nose. After the initial shock and a bit of a OOOOOOOOOH!!! moment, i saw the tube sticking out my nose and laughed uncontrollably for a while. She then slid through the stud, which again was a bit sore, and that was that. A shiny new piercing! So we ambled off home, then went and got drunk that night. Excellent!!
Bit of backtracking, Hannah and I also enjoyed a "fgoos" time (a slight misspelling of "good") with chocolate and wine on Monday, as Adam went home :( GUTTED FOR YOUUUUUU!
Thursday was, yet again, Dimitri's party. Jeudi soir is always a highlight here. Ok, it should be noted that last saturday (the 2nd) I met a Frenchman I quite liked - Renaud. After bantering all week and overcoming an amusing language barrier, we finally met again on Thursday and lets just say there were some sparks.There was also a weird menthol vodka drink, but we'll discuss that at a later date.
And yes, Je suis now in a relationship with said Frenchman. I came to Poitiers, and I fell in love. MY LIFE IS OBV A DISNEY FILM!
But back to the party...
Due to Hannah, Katie and Marta's inabilities to arrive anywhere on time, they came to mine about 10. Whereas everyone else was in full party mode at Dimitri's. Still, after some heinekin, stella and wine, we shuffled off to Dimitri's, stopping to buy more cheap wine on the way. After tanning some wine on a street corner (as you do), we walked for 4 days to Dimitri's. It was a good party, where I played some guitar, made some jokes, talked a lotta crap, and got a bit drunk. After helping Colin take Laoise home, and chasing Katie while she ran off to kick things (???) we managed to make it home.
Friday night was a similar kettle of fish. The girls arrived late, again. I made them a tasty spag bol and then some Angel Delight, but Hannah dismissed this fabulous dessert with an air of distaste, and announced she'd never had it before. Sheltered childhood.net. We ambled off to... est ouest? I think? Either way, we ended up in the grand goulle where we had many a laugh and dance! We arrived home sometime after 5, with sore feet and raging appetites. So, I made some egg friend rice to keep away scurvy :)
Saturday was more exciting again! There had been a festival thing on for many days, so we finally decided to attend. After watching some crazy bands, getting some Desperados for 3E60 - a bargain! - Katie and I ventured into the tent for a boogie. After dancing for a while Katie announced she wanted to "fuck off out of Poitiers, and travel round europe and dance with bells on her feet". I laughed for a thousand years, before the singer screamed "JE M'APPELLE STEEVEEEEEEEEE!!" down the microphone, which Katie and I carried on yelling for the remainder of the night. Another trip to est-ouest and then we bantered to the goulle with almost everyone we knew, and partied hard to 5 am again. I remember dancing on the podium with Marta, which can obv only be a good thing :)
It should be noted Renaud went back to Angouleme Friday evening, so on his return on Sunday we spent a lovely evening together, practicing our French and English with the help of the dictionary. Of course, my mishearing skills were top notch, as we practiced oral (ooer) translation at our natural speed of speech and lack of articulation. He said "Tu es tres belle", but I thought he said "ou est la poubelle?" so I sorta shouted "Where is the bin?!?!?" at him, to which he gave me a very bizarre look. The madness continued as I tried to talk in French and got confused and said "Tant pis, Renaud" (which means "nevermind, Renaud") and again he looked at me like I was absolutely mental and said "Sandwich?". After this, we sang our own rendition of "Non, je ne regrette rien" and he went home. Obv, this relationship is going to produce some amazing and hilarious banter.
So, needless to say, Poitiers is turning out to be an excellent place, what with Team Glasgow's banter, Hannah G's "fgoos times", Moi et mon petit ami, and of course, vodka caramel shots.
Poitiers, Je t'aime :D
Well! The madness that has gone on the past week or so...
Last week, I decided I'd go and get my nose pierced! After a 2 day build up, soul searching etc, Megan, Hannah Mc and I bantered over to the tattoo and piercing parlour, where I casually enquired (15 minutes before closing time) "Ce possible d'avoir une piercing de ma nez?", to which the man gave me a very amused look and said "Mais, oui!" (no joke) and ushered us to the waiting area. After discussing whether I'd get a ring or stud (We'll leave the ring for Megan) I was taking into the piercing room - on my own. After being given all the info and instructions in French (AND UNDERSTANDING! :D) the lovely girl presented me with the needle she'd be stabbing my face with. Some panic ensued, but not as much as usually. She clamped my nose with tongs, which made me giggle, before proceeding to stab my nose. After the initial shock and a bit of a OOOOOOOOOH!!! moment, i saw the tube sticking out my nose and laughed uncontrollably for a while. She then slid through the stud, which again was a bit sore, and that was that. A shiny new piercing! So we ambled off home, then went and got drunk that night. Excellent!!
Bit of backtracking, Hannah and I also enjoyed a "fgoos" time (a slight misspelling of "good") with chocolate and wine on Monday, as Adam went home :( GUTTED FOR YOUUUUUU!
Thursday was, yet again, Dimitri's party. Jeudi soir is always a highlight here. Ok, it should be noted that last saturday (the 2nd) I met a Frenchman I quite liked - Renaud. After bantering all week and overcoming an amusing language barrier, we finally met again on Thursday and lets just say there were some sparks.There was also a weird menthol vodka drink, but we'll discuss that at a later date.
And yes, Je suis now in a relationship with said Frenchman. I came to Poitiers, and I fell in love. MY LIFE IS OBV A DISNEY FILM!
But back to the party...
Due to Hannah, Katie and Marta's inabilities to arrive anywhere on time, they came to mine about 10. Whereas everyone else was in full party mode at Dimitri's. Still, after some heinekin, stella and wine, we shuffled off to Dimitri's, stopping to buy more cheap wine on the way. After tanning some wine on a street corner (as you do), we walked for 4 days to Dimitri's. It was a good party, where I played some guitar, made some jokes, talked a lotta crap, and got a bit drunk. After helping Colin take Laoise home, and chasing Katie while she ran off to kick things (???) we managed to make it home.
Friday night was a similar kettle of fish. The girls arrived late, again. I made them a tasty spag bol and then some Angel Delight, but Hannah dismissed this fabulous dessert with an air of distaste, and announced she'd never had it before. Sheltered childhood.net. We ambled off to... est ouest? I think? Either way, we ended up in the grand goulle where we had many a laugh and dance! We arrived home sometime after 5, with sore feet and raging appetites. So, I made some egg friend rice to keep away scurvy :)
Saturday was more exciting again! There had been a festival thing on for many days, so we finally decided to attend. After watching some crazy bands, getting some Desperados for 3E60 - a bargain! - Katie and I ventured into the tent for a boogie. After dancing for a while Katie announced she wanted to "fuck off out of Poitiers, and travel round europe and dance with bells on her feet". I laughed for a thousand years, before the singer screamed "JE M'APPELLE STEEVEEEEEEEEE!!" down the microphone, which Katie and I carried on yelling for the remainder of the night. Another trip to est-ouest and then we bantered to the goulle with almost everyone we knew, and partied hard to 5 am again. I remember dancing on the podium with Marta, which can obv only be a good thing :)
It should be noted Renaud went back to Angouleme Friday evening, so on his return on Sunday we spent a lovely evening together, practicing our French and English with the help of the dictionary. Of course, my mishearing skills were top notch, as we practiced oral (ooer) translation at our natural speed of speech and lack of articulation. He said "Tu es tres belle", but I thought he said "ou est la poubelle?" so I sorta shouted "Where is the bin?!?!?" at him, to which he gave me a very bizarre look. The madness continued as I tried to talk in French and got confused and said "Tant pis, Renaud" (which means "nevermind, Renaud") and again he looked at me like I was absolutely mental and said "Sandwich?". After this, we sang our own rendition of "Non, je ne regrette rien" and he went home. Obv, this relationship is going to produce some amazing and hilarious banter.
So, needless to say, Poitiers is turning out to be an excellent place, what with Team Glasgow's banter, Hannah G's "fgoos times", Moi et mon petit ami, and of course, vodka caramel shots.
Poitiers, Je t'aime :D
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
A reminder of home
I received a package today from home :D Full of "surprises", you could say. A letter/cooking instructions/random nonsense from the family, 3 different types of microwave rice, a packet of macaroni, Coleman's cheese sauce, strawberry Angel Delight, a packet of Gold biscuits, 4 bars of Galaxy, a tub of Bisto and my phone and it's charger. You have to question the necessity and nutrional values of these items, but I had a gracious cry nonetheless. Thank you family <3
It was then that I remembered I had a blog all about 2nd year Glasgow Uni banter on Bebo and have decided it should take it's rightful place here, along with more memorable facts from 1st year of uni and beyond.
I apologise for any indecent language, kids will be kids etc:
Me: I just can't do Kant!!
Amy: Excellent philosophy joke right there!
Me: I can smell wet dog?
Amy: Well, Lauren, you are a gun dog!!
Me: :| shut up, robin face
After an in depth chat about the war on iraq, the government, recession and migratory swallows, we reached this conclusion:
Me: Well, none of this will matter when we are King.
Amy: You mean Kings?
Me: No. Collectively, we will be a king. A conjoined twin King, perhaps.
Amy: Excellent. We have all the necessary knowledge; how to settle differences diplomatically -
Me: How, exactly?
Amy: With Chess, obv! Of course, neither of us can play chess, so we'll have to learn, but as King this shouldn't be a problem.
Me: I agree. And of course your outstanding knowledge of swallows will be a key element to our successful reign; How the African swallow is non-migratory, for example...
Amy: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Answeing any and every question with "me".
Amy: I f***in hate those Panda hats!
Me:I know, me too. They're just so ridiculous
Amy:Where'd you even get them anyway?
Me: I think I saw some in Hellfire or Osiris or something like that.
Amy: Oh, well that explains it.
Me:Yeah, basically children + panda hat = apparent originality.
Amy: I know, it practically invites paedophiles.
Me: Yeah, the people who wear them are basically saying (In a slightly creepy voice)
"Come and touch ma PANDA HAT!!"
Amy:... EXACTLY!!
Sitting in the QMU having lunch with Amy, mid convo, when a guy at a table himself goes nuts:
Guy: AAAAAAAAAAH!!
*exchanged glances of "WTF?!"
Amy: What the hell is wrong with him?
Me:I dunno man!
Guy: I had ONE thing to do, ONE THING!! God i KNEW there was something! Why didn't i just do it?...
Amy: ?????..... yeah so anyway....
Me: *Turns and laughs hysterically
*Drivin on the way to uni, some idiot driver won't stay in a lane then a van nearly kills us:
Me: Shit driver's are shit.
Becca: Shit drivers ARE shit.
Amy: Sorry I'm late, I had to see a man about a dog!
3/2/2010 - Probably the most epic lunchtime chat the QMU has ever experienced, thanks to Nadia, Amy and I. Think we frightened wee Kirsty though. And excited the boys behind us :P:
Nadia: He was rubbin away and I was all woah wait a minute, are you tryin to sand it or somethin?
Kirsty has a guilty past. Fact. Why else would she eat cheese and banana sandwiches :D
Amy: So what's John like when he's drunk?
Me: He's very affectionate both sober and drunk.
Amy: What? I didn't catch that
Me: I said he's very... eh...what was that word I just used to describe him again?
Becca: Affectionate?
Me: Yeah, that's it; he's affectionate...
Michel and his general misunderstandings of simple questions, for example:
Me: "Who is taking us for Gaelic Language?"
Michel: "Well, Lauren, you'll be in this building for all your classes"
Me: "Yes, I realise that, but who will be taking us?"
Michel: "Well you'll have classes every day except a Friday for Gaelic, as you don't have to do the backgroung history lectures"
Me: "...I see. So who will be lecturing us for reading and language?"
Michel: "Well, obviously, lecturers from the Gaelic and Celtic departments will be lecturing you..."
:|
Have you ever been in the underground at Govan so long your phone got a signal? Me and Rebecca have :|
*I tripped (as per) in the middle of a conversation between Kirsty and Becca; they carry on talking for a moment before:
Me: Man, I totally thought-
Kirsty: You were gonna fall there?
Becca: Yeah, we heard your shoes scraping about n saw you shuffling out the corner of our eyes
Me: Dammit, I thought I'd gotten away with it :|
*Talking about Becca's lecturer Dr Sneddon, how Christina thinks hes attractive, and becca's ex:
Me: Christina thinks that Sneddon is totally hot
Becca: Ew. Really? He kinda looks like Craig -
Me: Really? How so
Becca: Cause he's got the same kinda mouth. But he's like forty and he wears waistcoats and has a pocket watch!
Kirsty: Who's this?
Me: Becca's ex boyfriend
Kirsty: Becca's boyfriend is forty and wears waistcoats and is Dr Sneddon?
Me: What?? Rebecca's boyfriend is Mark!!
Kirsty:...I'm so confused :(
The QMU only plays metal in the 18-22 age range at Revolution on Tuesdays; clearly, Amy and I are far too old school.
I wonder what Robert Palmer would have to say about all this?
Amy: "How drunk are you?"
Me:"Eh.. I'm not bad actually. Yeah, I'm ok :) you?"
Amy: "Yeah... No, I'm pretty wasted."
Amy: Here's those jammies you wantedd
Me *takes off top: "No f**k offfff!!!" *dies
Metal guys: "Yooz goin to the Qmu?"
Me and Amy: "Eh... yes...why?"
Metal guys: "Cool, see yooz in there"
Us: "Eh...naw?"
Nadia: Feel free to tell them not to burn my nachos!;
12pm is SALAD TIME!!;
Me/Amy:A GRAIL?!?!?!
Christina: What is a grail, and why do you keep demanding one...
Philosophy banter:Grail boy, girl we hate, fleece body warmer boy and "where the hell do you shop from?" guy; Fire alarm madness: pen throwing, getting trapped between chairs, leg failure on the stairs, screaming "Go on without me!" and "Grab a limb, boys!" (Infront of strangers).
Philoso-punch.
Me (to Amy): I tried to catch your eye about how the guy was wearing velour trousers, but the guy with chest hair caught me looking and I has to abort.
We found Paul Brownsey on University Challenge!!
Morris dancing in a living room?
The many, many debates we have had in the QMU with Gail and lost.
The first every cheesy pop night with me, Mark, Amy and Christina. Play that funky music white boy! *White man dance
Afternoon drinks? Only on a Tuesday. Sometimes a Thursday.
Did you vote Tory?
The many discussions Nadia and Rebecca had about their bowels.
Ladies Nights - drinking ridiculously strong cocktails, playing the YMCA out into my quiet street, dancing to the macarena, wearing facemasks, watching disgusting videos, and generally being cool.
That year everyone's birthday party was in my house.
That time Becca and I learned to drive. And so, the Disco Mobile was born :D
Becca (very, very drunk): I have two pounds here in my very hand!
That time I tried to climb through the wardrobe?
Or that time I woke up with my bra done over my jammies?
The Spinal Tap halloween extravaganza? We made attractive men.
That time Lyall and I were screaming out of car windows, listening to "commander"?
Punjabi fm?
That time Lyall and I watched the 2D version of "Coraline" with 3D glasses? Long story short - there were 2 discs, so I assumed the other was a bonus disc. What we did was watch the 2D disc. SILLY.
Rose! Rose! Phillip look out!!! and other fantastic Disney quotes. Also, discovering flaws in films.
The dancemat craze? Noone has beat me at crash team racing yet.
That time Amy and I had 3 for £10 bottles of wine. NEVER BUY CHILEAN WINE.
I'm feelin a little bit *crazy hand dance*
Me: His mohawks all floppy...like...
Amy: A floppy thing? wet paper?
Me: No... More like a whale in captivity *does floppy fin action
Umbrella spies strike again! *pole vaults over book shelf.
Me: "When we're walking down the beach they say hey sexy!"
Amy: "...Never say that again"
Sheila's STILL in Portsmouth;
Me:Can we get chicken? (even when there isn't chicken :|)
Generally saying "No" to any request or adding "This is why you fail" to any form of failure/dismay;
*Llama impression.
Me: Face it, Christina, you just don't have a detective's mind!
Me: Right, Amy, get in that bin! *points
Amy: It's not my fault I'm bio-degredable!
Me: Where's my panini?
Amy: You ate it
Me: Did i? :|:|
Amy: Aye, she handed you it and you just ate it all up
Me:...Wait a f**king minute, no I didnt! I've not even paid yet :|
*Loud bang
Me: What was that?
Amy:What was what?
Me: I thought I'd maybe lost something out my bag, or you know, a limb
Amy: You lost me; I'm still upstairs waiting on your panini!
Amy:Sisters are doing it for themselves!!
Me: Was that on the radio, or was that just for you?
Amy: Nope! Just for me :D
Sitting beside each other talking on facebook - the main past time of university students.
Billy Grove took us on a tour of the male toilets for French culture (don't ask why) and then asked us what we thought of the urinals
Me:Well, I'm very aroused
Christina: LOL
Billy Grove *raises eyebrow
Amy: Sounds like a sterling plan. And sterling is a word I'd like to bring back very much
Me:I agree, however, my comeback word for 2010 at the moment is dobber
Kirsty has an obsession with take away cups and containers. You'll never see her with crockery.
Christina: What's the soup today? (Probably somethign including pea, mint, or pepper)
It took us all about half a year to realise that when Nadia asked "Do you have any craic?", she wasn't asking for drugs :D
I often dramatically mishear things when I'm speaking to Amy;
like that time i thought she was talking about dragons? ( she wasn't)
or when I thought she said salt mints? (again, she didn't)
or when I thought she said "Paradoxically" but she was saying something along the lines of "I'm going home now"
Me:TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROTH!!
Me: You know what they say, never rub another man's rhubarb!!
The many, many hours spent drinking tea and eating chocolate where we discuss our favourite childhood programmes and films (usually taking place about once a month)
The night Amy and I replaced "wrecked" with various "R" words (we realise it starts with a W but we don't care): Lets get ramshangled; rotund; revolted; respected; ran over; red pepper'd; resolved; reversed; redundant; reserved; robotic; repeated (ETC)
This lead to the ingenius creation of "Let's get Robert Downey Jnr'd!" and "Let's get Ronnie James Dio'd!"
General 1st year Spanish banter with John McCulloch
The best chat up line ever:
Guy to Nadia's mate: Did you just fart?
Nadia's mate: NO?!?!?!?! why?!?!
Guy: Cause you just blew me away!!
He's definetly black ;)
Me: How crap was New Moon?
Everyone else except Amy: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
*Sings Monty Python and the Holy Grail Prelude
It was then that I remembered I had a blog all about 2nd year Glasgow Uni banter on Bebo and have decided it should take it's rightful place here, along with more memorable facts from 1st year of uni and beyond.
I apologise for any indecent language, kids will be kids etc:
Me: I just can't do Kant!!
Amy: Excellent philosophy joke right there!
Me: I can smell wet dog?
Amy: Well, Lauren, you are a gun dog!!
Me: :| shut up, robin face
After an in depth chat about the war on iraq, the government, recession and migratory swallows, we reached this conclusion:
Me: Well, none of this will matter when we are King.
Amy: You mean Kings?
Me: No. Collectively, we will be a king. A conjoined twin King, perhaps.
Amy: Excellent. We have all the necessary knowledge; how to settle differences diplomatically -
Me: How, exactly?
Amy: With Chess, obv! Of course, neither of us can play chess, so we'll have to learn, but as King this shouldn't be a problem.
Me: I agree. And of course your outstanding knowledge of swallows will be a key element to our successful reign; How the African swallow is non-migratory, for example...
Amy: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Answeing any and every question with "me".
Amy: I f***in hate those Panda hats!
Me:I know, me too. They're just so ridiculous
Amy:Where'd you even get them anyway?
Me: I think I saw some in Hellfire or Osiris or something like that.
Amy: Oh, well that explains it.
Me:Yeah, basically children + panda hat = apparent originality.
Amy: I know, it practically invites paedophiles.
Me: Yeah, the people who wear them are basically saying (In a slightly creepy voice)
"Come and touch ma PANDA HAT!!"
Amy:... EXACTLY!!
Sitting in the QMU having lunch with Amy, mid convo, when a guy at a table himself goes nuts:
Guy: AAAAAAAAAAH!!
*exchanged glances of "WTF?!"
Amy: What the hell is wrong with him?
Me:I dunno man!
Guy: I had ONE thing to do, ONE THING!! God i KNEW there was something! Why didn't i just do it?...
Amy: ?????..... yeah so anyway....
Me: *Turns and laughs hysterically
*Drivin on the way to uni, some idiot driver won't stay in a lane then a van nearly kills us:
Me: Shit driver's are shit.
Becca: Shit drivers ARE shit.
Amy: Sorry I'm late, I had to see a man about a dog!
3/2/2010 - Probably the most epic lunchtime chat the QMU has ever experienced, thanks to Nadia, Amy and I. Think we frightened wee Kirsty though. And excited the boys behind us :P:
Nadia: He was rubbin away and I was all woah wait a minute, are you tryin to sand it or somethin?
Kirsty has a guilty past. Fact. Why else would she eat cheese and banana sandwiches :D
Amy: So what's John like when he's drunk?
Me: He's very affectionate both sober and drunk.
Amy: What? I didn't catch that
Me: I said he's very... eh...what was that word I just used to describe him again?
Becca: Affectionate?
Me: Yeah, that's it; he's affectionate...
Michel and his general misunderstandings of simple questions, for example:
Me: "Who is taking us for Gaelic Language?"
Michel: "Well, Lauren, you'll be in this building for all your classes"
Me: "Yes, I realise that, but who will be taking us?"
Michel: "Well you'll have classes every day except a Friday for Gaelic, as you don't have to do the backgroung history lectures"
Me: "...I see. So who will be lecturing us for reading and language?"
Michel: "Well, obviously, lecturers from the Gaelic and Celtic departments will be lecturing you..."
:|
Have you ever been in the underground at Govan so long your phone got a signal? Me and Rebecca have :|
*I tripped (as per) in the middle of a conversation between Kirsty and Becca; they carry on talking for a moment before:
Me: Man, I totally thought-
Kirsty: You were gonna fall there?
Becca: Yeah, we heard your shoes scraping about n saw you shuffling out the corner of our eyes
Me: Dammit, I thought I'd gotten away with it :|
*Talking about Becca's lecturer Dr Sneddon, how Christina thinks hes attractive, and becca's ex:
Me: Christina thinks that Sneddon is totally hot
Becca: Ew. Really? He kinda looks like Craig -
Me: Really? How so
Becca: Cause he's got the same kinda mouth. But he's like forty and he wears waistcoats and has a pocket watch!
Kirsty: Who's this?
Me: Becca's ex boyfriend
Kirsty: Becca's boyfriend is forty and wears waistcoats and is Dr Sneddon?
Me: What?? Rebecca's boyfriend is Mark!!
Kirsty:...I'm so confused :(
The QMU only plays metal in the 18-22 age range at Revolution on Tuesdays; clearly, Amy and I are far too old school.
I wonder what Robert Palmer would have to say about all this?
Amy: "How drunk are you?"
Me:"Eh.. I'm not bad actually. Yeah, I'm ok :) you?"
Amy: "Yeah... No, I'm pretty wasted."
Amy: Here's those jammies you wantedd
Me *takes off top: "No f**k offfff!!!" *dies
Metal guys: "Yooz goin to the Qmu?"
Me and Amy: "Eh... yes...why?"
Metal guys: "Cool, see yooz in there"
Us: "Eh...naw?"
Nadia: Feel free to tell them not to burn my nachos!;
12pm is SALAD TIME!!;
Me/Amy:A GRAIL?!?!?!
Christina: What is a grail, and why do you keep demanding one...
Philosophy banter:Grail boy, girl we hate, fleece body warmer boy and "where the hell do you shop from?" guy; Fire alarm madness: pen throwing, getting trapped between chairs, leg failure on the stairs, screaming "Go on without me!" and "Grab a limb, boys!" (Infront of strangers).
Philoso-punch.
Me (to Amy): I tried to catch your eye about how the guy was wearing velour trousers, but the guy with chest hair caught me looking and I has to abort.
We found Paul Brownsey on University Challenge!!
Morris dancing in a living room?
The many, many debates we have had in the QMU with Gail and lost.
The first every cheesy pop night with me, Mark, Amy and Christina. Play that funky music white boy! *White man dance
Afternoon drinks? Only on a Tuesday. Sometimes a Thursday.
Did you vote Tory?
The many discussions Nadia and Rebecca had about their bowels.
Ladies Nights - drinking ridiculously strong cocktails, playing the YMCA out into my quiet street, dancing to the macarena, wearing facemasks, watching disgusting videos, and generally being cool.
That year everyone's birthday party was in my house.
That time Becca and I learned to drive. And so, the Disco Mobile was born :D
Becca (very, very drunk): I have two pounds here in my very hand!
That time I tried to climb through the wardrobe?
Or that time I woke up with my bra done over my jammies?
The Spinal Tap halloween extravaganza? We made attractive men.
That time Lyall and I were screaming out of car windows, listening to "commander"?
Punjabi fm?
That time Lyall and I watched the 2D version of "Coraline" with 3D glasses? Long story short - there were 2 discs, so I assumed the other was a bonus disc. What we did was watch the 2D disc. SILLY.
Rose! Rose! Phillip look out!!! and other fantastic Disney quotes. Also, discovering flaws in films.
The dancemat craze? Noone has beat me at crash team racing yet.
That time Amy and I had 3 for £10 bottles of wine. NEVER BUY CHILEAN WINE.
I'm feelin a little bit *crazy hand dance*
Me: His mohawks all floppy...like...
Amy: A floppy thing? wet paper?
Me: No... More like a whale in captivity *does floppy fin action
Umbrella spies strike again! *pole vaults over book shelf.
Me: "When we're walking down the beach they say hey sexy!"
Amy: "...Never say that again"
Sheila's STILL in Portsmouth;
Me:Can we get chicken? (even when there isn't chicken :|)
Generally saying "No" to any request or adding "This is why you fail" to any form of failure/dismay;
*Llama impression.
Me: Face it, Christina, you just don't have a detective's mind!
Me: Right, Amy, get in that bin! *points
Amy: It's not my fault I'm bio-degredable!
Me: Where's my panini?
Amy: You ate it
Me: Did i? :|:|
Amy: Aye, she handed you it and you just ate it all up
Me:...Wait a f**king minute, no I didnt! I've not even paid yet :|
*Loud bang
Me: What was that?
Amy:What was what?
Me: I thought I'd maybe lost something out my bag, or you know, a limb
Amy: You lost me; I'm still upstairs waiting on your panini!
Amy:Sisters are doing it for themselves!!
Me: Was that on the radio, or was that just for you?
Amy: Nope! Just for me :D
Sitting beside each other talking on facebook - the main past time of university students.
Billy Grove took us on a tour of the male toilets for French culture (don't ask why) and then asked us what we thought of the urinals
Me:Well, I'm very aroused
Christina: LOL
Billy Grove *raises eyebrow
Amy: Sounds like a sterling plan. And sterling is a word I'd like to bring back very much
Me:I agree, however, my comeback word for 2010 at the moment is dobber
Kirsty has an obsession with take away cups and containers. You'll never see her with crockery.
Christina: What's the soup today? (Probably somethign including pea, mint, or pepper)
It took us all about half a year to realise that when Nadia asked "Do you have any craic?", she wasn't asking for drugs :D
I often dramatically mishear things when I'm speaking to Amy;
like that time i thought she was talking about dragons? ( she wasn't)
or when I thought she said salt mints? (again, she didn't)
or when I thought she said "Paradoxically" but she was saying something along the lines of "I'm going home now"
Me:TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROTH!!
Me: You know what they say, never rub another man's rhubarb!!
The many, many hours spent drinking tea and eating chocolate where we discuss our favourite childhood programmes and films (usually taking place about once a month)
The night Amy and I replaced "wrecked" with various "R" words (we realise it starts with a W but we don't care): Lets get ramshangled; rotund; revolted; respected; ran over; red pepper'd; resolved; reversed; redundant; reserved; robotic; repeated (ETC)
This lead to the ingenius creation of "Let's get Robert Downey Jnr'd!" and "Let's get Ronnie James Dio'd!"
General 1st year Spanish banter with John McCulloch
The best chat up line ever:
Guy to Nadia's mate: Did you just fart?
Nadia's mate: NO?!?!?!?! why?!?!
Guy: Cause you just blew me away!!
He's definetly black ;)
Me: How crap was New Moon?
Everyone else except Amy: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
*Sings Monty Python and the Holy Grail Prelude
Sunday, 3 October 2010
Straws are for the weak!!
It's been a quiet Sunday, accompanied with a mild hangover and an unfortunate loss of my voice. I have finally caught the residential cold. I SAID DON'T GIVE ME IT...
Where to start? Well the kitchen ceiling fell in, again, and they still haven't fixed it, again, and there are mice, AGAIN! But we saw a wee mouse with a long fluffy tail and Eva thought it was adorable, but Sylvia wasn't so sure...
So last weekend... Well it all started 2 Thursdays ago where Hannah Mc, Hannah G, Anna, Katie and Marta all came to mine for some (rather hardcore) pre-drinking and some dubstep fun times. Whilst Katie was hanging out the window having a casual smoke, crazy lady shouted "FERMER LA FINETRE!" at us, in her usual weird "It's 1 minute past 10, I better shout at them!" kind of fashion, to which we shouted "NAW! POURQUOI?" back. She didn't say much after that, thank god. So after much beer, wine, more wine, and a half bottle of wine to take for the journey, we sauntered off to Est-Ouest - because we are lame and seem to have nowhere better to go. So, as always, we bought the metre of shots (WHY?!) and carried on drinking cocktails etc. It seemed clear we were pretty drunk, so decided it would be a good idea to go to the goulle (the night club). Wrong... Hannah and I didn't get in, we say we don't know why but we know it's because we were absolutely wrecked, so we shuffled and staggered off home. This is where the night took a rather exciting turn. I thought I'd just went home, went to bed etc, like normal folk do. The madness began when I woke up to discover what was the remains of spaghetti bolognese. I ignored this, presuming it had been my dinner from the night before. But then I remembered I'd had something else for tea; I'd came home drunk and cooked myself a meal. On a gas stove. That you have to light with a lighter. Vaguely, I could remember being a domestic goddess and put it behind me. Most of Friday was spent dying and eating, so that was fine.
Then Saturday arrived... Lisa, Martine, Anna, Mahi, Carola, Antoine, Katrin and I all went bowling, which was super fun, even though I was super crap. I was sitting having some tea and lunch before we left, when Lisa bounded into the kitchen, and laughed. What is so funny? I enquired. She said something back like "it sounded like you were having a good night last night!". Which was odd, as she wasn't out. Basically, to cut a long story short, I returned home about 4.30 am, so Hannah and I must have literaly CRAWLED home, singing in FLUENT French. Which is all very well, BUT I DON'T KNOW ANY FRENCH SONGS. I then apparently proceeded to start muttering and arguing, presumably with myself, in "a mad Scottish rant". It has to be asked; Where do I go at night? And what do I do? It was also assumed that the angry message left on the board about plates was probably from me to me, as I was taking a plate to my room. Can't say I'm not clever!
So we went bowling, went shopping in Casino etc, then the Saturday night banter again. It was off to Zoe's where I met a rather tipsy Lorna who just yelled "YOU'VE MISSED SO MUCH!" (and so I had - She had a boyfriend now?!), Zoe and Hannah G. We drank some wine (again) and headed off to the ERASMUS party, which was outside, so very, very baltic. We then bailed on that and headed to Est-ouest AGAIN!! Where we had more shots, more cocktails, and more banter. We went to the grand goulle, again, got in this time... but I don't remember much of it. It was also Roxanne and Kim's birthday weekends so everyone was on tip top form, i.e. on the floor, so that was that. Another stagger off home, and that was the weekend.
The week was fairly uneventful, but, inevitably, Jeudi Soir rolled round again and Hannah G and I bantered off to meet Marta, Katie and Hannah Mc at Marta's flat. After much drinking, random texting of boys etc, we went to... EST BLOODY OUEST. But Hannah never got in because for the first time in a billion years, we got I.D.'d and she had none. WHAT THE HELL, FRANCE? I had a burger from Quick, though - amazing!!
Friday night... Can you see where this is probably going? Est ouest, cafe des arts, all the ERASMUS folk out, followed by a cool electro bar that was inhabited by the under agers. Shweet.
Saturday night... E/O again... lots of cocktails... few shots... and the understanding that this is a "European Adventure!" and the agreement of "Big heels, short dress" night. We shall see! Zoe and Lorna have also admitted undying love for one another this weekend, and dressed in a typically English way - take a guess...
We then tried to go to the goulle, again, but got turned away because, and I quote, "We don't want foreign types like you in here". Thanks for the xenophobia, Poitiers :\
Also, French people have to get a grip on the fact that:
a) it is DISGUSTING that NOONE washes their hands when they come out the toilet.
b)The toilets are a DISGRACE!!
c) There are such things as toilet seats. INVEST IN THESE!
Where to start? Well the kitchen ceiling fell in, again, and they still haven't fixed it, again, and there are mice, AGAIN! But we saw a wee mouse with a long fluffy tail and Eva thought it was adorable, but Sylvia wasn't so sure...
So last weekend... Well it all started 2 Thursdays ago where Hannah Mc, Hannah G, Anna, Katie and Marta all came to mine for some (rather hardcore) pre-drinking and some dubstep fun times. Whilst Katie was hanging out the window having a casual smoke, crazy lady shouted "FERMER LA FINETRE!" at us, in her usual weird "It's 1 minute past 10, I better shout at them!" kind of fashion, to which we shouted "NAW! POURQUOI?" back. She didn't say much after that, thank god. So after much beer, wine, more wine, and a half bottle of wine to take for the journey, we sauntered off to Est-Ouest - because we are lame and seem to have nowhere better to go. So, as always, we bought the metre of shots (WHY?!) and carried on drinking cocktails etc. It seemed clear we were pretty drunk, so decided it would be a good idea to go to the goulle (the night club). Wrong... Hannah and I didn't get in, we say we don't know why but we know it's because we were absolutely wrecked, so we shuffled and staggered off home. This is where the night took a rather exciting turn. I thought I'd just went home, went to bed etc, like normal folk do. The madness began when I woke up to discover what was the remains of spaghetti bolognese. I ignored this, presuming it had been my dinner from the night before. But then I remembered I'd had something else for tea; I'd came home drunk and cooked myself a meal. On a gas stove. That you have to light with a lighter. Vaguely, I could remember being a domestic goddess and put it behind me. Most of Friday was spent dying and eating, so that was fine.
Then Saturday arrived... Lisa, Martine, Anna, Mahi, Carola, Antoine, Katrin and I all went bowling, which was super fun, even though I was super crap. I was sitting having some tea and lunch before we left, when Lisa bounded into the kitchen, and laughed. What is so funny? I enquired. She said something back like "it sounded like you were having a good night last night!". Which was odd, as she wasn't out. Basically, to cut a long story short, I returned home about 4.30 am, so Hannah and I must have literaly CRAWLED home, singing in FLUENT French. Which is all very well, BUT I DON'T KNOW ANY FRENCH SONGS. I then apparently proceeded to start muttering and arguing, presumably with myself, in "a mad Scottish rant". It has to be asked; Where do I go at night? And what do I do? It was also assumed that the angry message left on the board about plates was probably from me to me, as I was taking a plate to my room. Can't say I'm not clever!
So we went bowling, went shopping in Casino etc, then the Saturday night banter again. It was off to Zoe's where I met a rather tipsy Lorna who just yelled "YOU'VE MISSED SO MUCH!" (and so I had - She had a boyfriend now?!), Zoe and Hannah G. We drank some wine (again) and headed off to the ERASMUS party, which was outside, so very, very baltic. We then bailed on that and headed to Est-ouest AGAIN!! Where we had more shots, more cocktails, and more banter. We went to the grand goulle, again, got in this time... but I don't remember much of it. It was also Roxanne and Kim's birthday weekends so everyone was on tip top form, i.e. on the floor, so that was that. Another stagger off home, and that was the weekend.
The week was fairly uneventful, but, inevitably, Jeudi Soir rolled round again and Hannah G and I bantered off to meet Marta, Katie and Hannah Mc at Marta's flat. After much drinking, random texting of boys etc, we went to... EST BLOODY OUEST. But Hannah never got in because for the first time in a billion years, we got I.D.'d and she had none. WHAT THE HELL, FRANCE? I had a burger from Quick, though - amazing!!
Friday night... Can you see where this is probably going? Est ouest, cafe des arts, all the ERASMUS folk out, followed by a cool electro bar that was inhabited by the under agers. Shweet.
Saturday night... E/O again... lots of cocktails... few shots... and the understanding that this is a "European Adventure!" and the agreement of "Big heels, short dress" night. We shall see! Zoe and Lorna have also admitted undying love for one another this weekend, and dressed in a typically English way - take a guess...
We then tried to go to the goulle, again, but got turned away because, and I quote, "We don't want foreign types like you in here". Thanks for the xenophobia, Poitiers :\
Also, French people have to get a grip on the fact that:
a) it is DISGUSTING that NOONE washes their hands when they come out the toilet.
b)The toilets are a DISGRACE!!
c) There are such things as toilet seats. INVEST IN THESE!
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