Fin.

Hello, Bienvenue and awrite? I've been back in Scotland for 2 months now and I should have really updated sooner. So here's a little back-tracking to get us started. The night before I left (31st March) Renaud came to mine to see me for the last time for a while, and nearly everyone came out, since it was a Thursday, so I got to say goodbye to most folk, some of whom I'll never see again, which makes me very sad!! The Friday, however, was a disaster. In my mad, slightly drunken, over emotional state, I tripped and fell in my hall way, badly bruising and spraining my wrist, cutting it, and getting really bad carpet burn down my arm that is STILL healing, as is the wrist pain. Which involved me getting even more upset, like "MA ARM!!!!!" and the worry of getting lost/kidnapped/dying trying to get home. Then Renaud and I cleverly spent the last hour or so running around Poitiers trying to find a printer, adding more stress to my life. The flights home were uneventful, and Becca and David picked me up from Glasgow Airport :D All in all a fun wee time, but I miss a lot of my friends and of course the Frenchman!

So, Scotland...There's not loaaaddss to report. There have been some good nights out though, like the 80s night. Which may or may not have involved neon feathers, leather leggings, and really, really bad photos. Like this:

Prince Charming?!

Or, like this, which is less... No, I can't lie, it's only vaguely more attractive:

Me and Amy. Cool as cucumbers.

The night was filled with much 80s drunken banter, kicking, dancing, and generally wishing there was such a thing as a time machine...

There's been a few trips to Red, and an enjoyable trip to Amy's where we drank beer and cider and watched Star Wars, counting the number of minorities present in the film (4 in total) and general catch up banter. We've also had many nights out to Word Up, Monday night Glasgow banter with Amy, and my dad's 50th. But more on those activities later.

On 11th May I bantered back to Poitiers for the final adventure! But before that I went to Angouleme for what will be the last time for a wee while. Comme d'hab, Renaud's family were wonderful to me, introducing me to more of the fantastic French lifestyle I've fallen in love with. Renaud also took me to Jonzac to a lovely spa place for a day and it was AMAZING! We had sauna's and jacuzzi's and a hamam, which is like a humid version of a sauna! I have never been so relaxed in my life and we had such a great day out! Other events included meeting the new little boy his mum would be watching -Pierre, 5 months old, GORGEOUS, going to the rock bar in Angouleme and me drinking cocktails - i.e. 2 shots of rum and a quartered lime in a glass with a spoon to "mix" the "cocktail". I miss the French and they're bizarre ways!

After a few days we went back to Poitiers to sit my exams - no comment - and generally say goodbye to what has been my home for the past 8 months. But then I decided to get sick. Then we decided to make extra spicy fajitas (!!!!!!!!!!). Do not be fooled by the tomato one, it is INSANE!!! There was also an excellent party in the Connemara and at... erm... "Adrian's old house" and we didn't get back home till nearer 8am! I miss the French party lifestyle!

 All in all we had a lovely time together and I will/ do really miss Renaud, but we are 8 months now and till bantering along :D

On a final note, I would urge ANYONE to study abroad, even for one semester. It has changed me for the better and I WILL be doing it when I graduate! (As long as they let me back in the country!)

I'd also like to take a moment to thank everyone I met on my trip to Poitiers for making it the best experiences of my life! Merci a tous et je vous aime! Gros bisous :) xxxxxxx

How to move how abroad: Packing.

All over again, I find myself constantly panicking and relfecting whilst I am packing for the big move back to Scotland, as well as wondering why in the name of Jebus and his furry friends I have so much stuff with me. I arrived with no less than FOUR suitcases, mostly filled with clothes, which is obviously nothing out of the ordinary. Another suitcase was filled with cooking essentials, bathroom stuff, etc. What? WHY?! Why the hell did I bring that sorta crap with me? Did I think that France wouldn't sell pots and pans, etc? So that's basically a suitcase I can leave behind. I remember frustratedly stating to my mum 2 nights before I came here that "I HAVE NOTHING WITH ME!".

Rule #1 for moving abroad: Ignore yourself when you say that. You can buy practically EVERYTHING you need wherever you move too. Poitiers had the €2 shop etc, I could ahve got everything JUST as cheap here, and at less expsense. Still, lesson learned, etc.

So far, I have 3 cases - 2 of which are coming home with me, and the other filled with things I am leaving with a friend here so I'll have clothes when I come back, and with things I may or may not need in the future. Therefore, cutting down costs and leaving behind things that I really don't need.

So, Rule #2: Prioritise your items. Clothes, but ones you WILL wear. Little trinkets etc, but that WON'T add a million kg to your weight (think back to the 750g teabag incident - I took out half the packet and lost over 500g to my weight - CRUTIAL MUCH?)

This rule applies to almost any household item - don't be mental like me and bring EVERYTHING over with you...

Once you are over, however, do what you like, it's your room, make it your own. But here's a little advice that's a good money saver and just a good idea in general: Take advantage of most airlines 10kg hand luggage rule. While it is strick, if you follow the above rules, not only will you be able to avoid paying an extra £15 for hold luggage, it means you are just bringing back say out of season clothes (and I literally mean summer-winter clothes, not style, though that too I guess) and other non-necessities to make room for more!

Therefore, Rule #3 - Only use 10kg hand luggage when flying home for visits, unless you REALLY need to book holdluggage.

Even over Christmas I managed this. Basically, anything you think that won't do for winter, that you realised you don't need than you can't throw away, take it home with you. Summer clothes etc are relatively light so you should be able to bring a LOT back. Also, by this hand luggage, I don't mean stuff 10kg worth of stuff into a handbag, get one of the small cases that fit cabin luggage regulations. It's worked every time for me, and means I can check in online and basically proceed right to the gate rather than standing in long queues waiting to check in big pieces of luggage. But obviously, this only works if you aren't bringing back half of the country you are in.

NB: Doesn't matter if it's when you are first going over, etc, always wear any jackets or HEAVY pieces of clothing. Saves like 1kg per item, so frees up a lot more weight and space!

However, as mentioned, it is a lot easier to bring back home summer clothes than winter clothes. Which leads us to Rule #4, Wear ALL your heavy clothing and jewellery whilst travelling. Yes, you may look absolutely mental with 3 necklaces, 2 bangles, a large jumper, a cardigan and a jacket/coat on, but it saves SO much weight, as previously mentioned. Plus it means you have more pockets, which allows for phones, mp3s, make up in those daft clear bags etc to be stored there if they are big enough, or if you happen to have a man friend travelling with you (jean pockets hello?).

I think that's all the main advice I can give you, apart from mayeb recruit family or friends to make the big moves with you, providing you aren't hated by everyone and they can't wait to see the back of you. Which I'm sure is unlikely.

Hope this helps any budding movers/ future ERASMUS/ Languag assistants!!

Fetchez la vache!!!!!

Throughout the 7 months I have spent here, I have often thought how to describe what it's like speaking French, or "French", to French people. And, after much deliberation/ watching Monty Python and The Holy Grail, I feel the Python's have done a rather excellent job in summing up exactly what happens when we Brits and other foreigners attempt to speak French:

French Soldier: Un cadeau.
Other French soldiers: A what?
French Soldier: A present.
Other French soldiers: Oh, Un cadeau!
Other French soldiers: Oui oui.
French Soldier: Allons y!
Other French soldiers: What?
French Soldier: Let's go!
Other French soldiers: Oh.

*NB: Replace "French soldier" with me, say, or any other Brit, and "Other French soldiers" with actual  French people.

Also, how this is said in the film pretty much gives you an idea of how we sound when we speak French:
"I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?"

If you have not seen the film, FOR SHAME! Go, buy or download it now, watch it, then come back and read my blog.

Anyway, joking aside, there is a point to all of this. As of Friday 1st April, I shall be leaving Poitiers. Not forever, as I must return in early May for exams (cheers, Poitiers), but I am leaving a wee bit early due to some much needed resbite. So, I am reflecting. Also, it is 05h30, I'm halfway through packing my suitcase and am only awake because I decided to have coffee and noodles just after 3h this morning. Clever Lauren and you're smart decisions.

It feels very strange to be packing again, because this time I have 20kg hold luggage and my 10kg hand luggage and have given the notice for my room - so this is the big move back. And all over again, I feel like I'm leaving behind so much, I can't decide what to bring, only this time it's not like if I come back here my things will be waiting for me - once I move out, that's it. It's the end of the first chapter of my new, independent life. And I am REALLY gonna miss living on my own. But fear not, as Nadia, my Irish pal from Glasgow Uni, and I have decided to flat share in Glasgow next year - YALDI. It will be a bachelorette lair of which the likes Glasgow will have never seen before. Or just us getting drunk, talking shite, pretending to study languages and being poor for a year.

Anyway, over the next few days I am going to try and update as often as possible with any little happenings etc before my depature. Last Saturday I went out with the usual crowd to Est-Ouest, and it was fairly uneventful, apart from Anna teaching Katrin and I a valuable lesson about how chocolate must always be available when you are sad, nearly being shot in the face with a champagne cork (Thanks, Katrin :P) and that rose, rose champagne and sangria are not our friends. Or shots of vodka, for that matter. I also believe I was invited to a James Blunt concert and may have said yes... Anyway...

The weather here is still AMAZING, reaching 24 degrees the other day. Suck on that! I'd wear shorts if I didn't hate my legs so much/could be bothered shaving them more often. Hey, noone sees my legs, why do they need to be smoothy smooth everyday? Course, I realise that makes me sound like a human yeti, which isn't what I mean. Why do I need to defend this? Shut up.

On that slightly mad and irrelevant note, I shall leave you with more encouraging words from Monty Python :)

" I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time. :|

Quotes Copyright © "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", 1975. (Seriously, get it watched.)

The sun has got his hat on!!!

Spring is well and truly underway in Poitiers - in actual fact, it's more like Scottish summer weather! Hannah Grello and I decided to have a day out to enjoy such lovely weather. We met at Notre Dame just after half past 12 at the local market, which sold everything from fruit and veg to weird little antique things - so French!. So we spent an hour or so browsing the random and amusing artefacts, with Hannah buying a wee surprise for Adam (won't say what it is in case he reads this :P) and me buying something wonderful for Amy - again, not saying what, but if she doesn't love it I'm going to slap her with a tuna.

We soon realised, though, that at everyone stall there was at least one Jesus-related item. Jesus on a plate, Jesus on a cross, Jesus on a cross on a necklace, a small Jesus book (that wasn't a bible!), a portrait of Jesus, and so on and so forth. This lead to us randomly shouting "JESUS!" every few seconds and me saying something along the lines of "I really wanna find something nice for - Jesus?", when really I meant Amy...

Some of the best items we found were:

• An old fold up school desk and chair.
• Various bird baths
• Axes and other weapons
• Ivory and bone jewellery, etc
• A little porn picture book thing (Hilarious!)
• A real dead fox fur scarf

This "scarf" still had the foxes face, sewn up bits where the eyes should be, the nose bit all dried, legs and paws and it's tail. It was kinda terrifying and disturbing, but WAS really soft and did look fabulous.



Hannah modelling the fox scarf. Fabulous, but oh the controversy!!

We did kind of want to buy it because it was so elegant and wonderful, but then we felt bad and release we'd probably get egged in the streets and denounced by our friends. Plus the face freaked me out, it felt like it was just looking at me, even though it had no eyes...

Anyway, after all that excitement we sat and had a nice beer in the sun and had a good old catch up, discussing everything and anything and commenting about the strange but intriguing people we saw wandering around the market. I'm pretty sure I got a little sunburnt though, or at least "caught some sun" as they say!

Next, we took a trip to Géant for some retail therapy and stopped to go to many weird French shops - why can't they at least invest in a Primark :/ Still after many fails, we eventually made it to H&M and I got myself a nice, floaty, flowery top :) Win! It has to be said though, France does love its autumn/old people colours - beige, cream, beige, navy, beige, sometimes red or green, beige, brown, black, BEIGE :@ For a fashionable country, Poitiers really isn't. It's like those équipe books we got in school where everyone was dressed in bad jumpers and jeans. They seem to think rainbow jumpers qualifies as colours. Noooooo it doesn't :| .

We hit Casino so I could get some groceries, i.e. left with milk, cereal, biscuits and PORRIDGE! Not Scots, but Quakers porridge, but it still tastes great :D But the self service kept telling me to "Place your basket (it meant bag) correctly", which was only slightly more annoying that "There is an unexpected item in the bagging area!". Still, after shouting at it, I managed to successfully buy my shopping.

We then decided on a spur of the moment bowling trip, which was HILARIOUS. We both needed some cheering up and this was just the thing. I managed to get a strike on my first go and another 2 or 3 shots after, but after that I just gutter balling it. Fail. Though we were doing celebratory jumps off the wee step, but this resulted in us looking rather... "Special". Here is what I mean:




Not sure what happened here...

As you can see, my head has gone transparent and my legs look very disproportioned to my body. Many of these pictures were taken (see Facebook!)... I'm not even sure how the angle of this picture happened, because in fact I was higher up than Hannah?! Either way, Hannah beat my sorry ass at bowling then we had some chips - proper fat chips! We then jumped on the bus and went home, where I finally managed to sleep! Ok, it kinda wasted my Friday night as I fell asleep just after 6pm, woke up at 1am, then went back to sleep at 2am, then woke up at 6 am, but a hole 10 hours sleep as made me feel fantastic!! All in all it was a banterful day out that was really needed!!

A la prochaine!!! x

P.S. Here are some more of our wonderful jumping shots:



Lol!!!!!!



My arms are transparent?! I have NO idea how this happened or why I look like this....

Quoi de neuf?: Angoulême, my 20th, raclettes, cognac and flu.

NOTE: This entry has taken me weeks to write due to various distractions, ups and downs and other things. Apologies for it's short and probably generalised content.

Hello again to my blog! It has been well over a month since I last updated and feel it's time to give at least a short synopsis of what's been going on here in Poitiers! Well a lot has gone on in the past month! I spent the weekend before my birthday in Angoulême with Renaud and his family, where I was treated to a very French weekend! We visited the Bande Dessinée festival, where we got to see some famous comic book authors and various other arty things, but were a bit disappointed as you had to pay this year - apparently that's only happened in the last 2 or 3 years! Then we went for dinner at Renaud's parent's friend's house where I tried some tasty wee snacks like caramelised peanuts! Also had my first every raclette, which is like a grill thing with special little trays to melt special raclette cheese in and a thing where you can grill the different types of meats you have and you eat it all with potatoes! It was very exciting!! I also got my first taste of Cognac which was so amazing but left me a little bit too drunk - not that the whisky or red wine had anything to do with it! Then on Sunday for Epiphany we had a special galette and I found the little ornament so I was queen for a day! It was all very French and exciting :D



The Saturday after that (5th of February) was my 20th! I started the celebrations on the Thursday night with a bottle of malt whisky and buying myself a Chanel lipstick! We then proceeded to get wildly drunk on the Saturday night, drinking at the residence before hand before bantering off to Petit Cab, Est Ouest and the Goule as per! Renaud bought me a lovely dress for my birthday :D Pictures are on facebook so I can't be bothered uploading them here!

After my birthday... Well you can probably guess the banter that's gone on! Nights at the Petit Cab, Est Ouest, the goule etc! Last saturday (the 4th March) was the party at the Irish people's house for Aoife's birthday which was followed by a lovely trip to the Goule! Where we danced all night, but I was sober. Which was, coincidently, a very sobering experience. Hahaha, puns, etc.

What else? Well, there was the 2 week break around the 16th of February where everyone went home but I... didn't. Mainly because Ryanair thought it'd be hilarious to charge me £150 for ONE WAY. No thanks. So, instead, I got French flu which my mother and I thought was meningitus and went to Angouleme for a week with Renaud, which was lovely, until he got sick and we were a restless, sleep deprived, coughing and snoring mess. But we did go and see Tron which was beyond awesome!! In 3D as well! Not before there were 4 power cuts in a row, though.

Tuesday (8th march) was Mardi Gras and there was a huge festival/ carnival at notre dame - there is still confetti and streamers everywhere! Sadly, though, I missed it due to not being well, I just saw the remains as I dragged my sorry self to Monoprix for essentials. I have also recently enjoyed a lovely lunch and my first with Zoe last week, various sober weekends, various weekends drinking whisky and the weird orange rum punch they make up in bottles in bars, light sabers and metal music, and had some excellent banter with my friends! But I lost my Chanel lipstick, a definite tragedy.

Sadly, however, my time in Poitiers is growing to a close. Due to some personal problems, problems with uni, people, the area etc, I am not sure if I can continue with the rest of the term here. But fear not, dear readers!! The wonderful place that is the University of Glasgow has told me that if I should choose to return now, I can study at the Alliance Francais between now and some time before September, am still accepted into Honours, and can study for 3-4 months in Toulouse next March - May/June with the people who are studying French and Spanish but are currently in Spain! But I haven't decided yet.

Anyway, if I can think of more happenings etc I shall write another blog. Sorry for the tedious content!!

Lightsabers are fun. ALWAYS.

Green tea and Cabinets: A guide to ostracisation

And so, after much partying, catching up, meeting the new ERASMUS students and the general banter of returning after New Year, the hard realisation of university life is again upon us. And my goodness, is this semester gonna be hard!

Let it be known that, in Glasgow University especially, most students in Scotland do not have particuarly long weeks, given the exceptions like medicine, dentistry etc. In my case, I usually had, say, a 13 hour week at uni, sometimes having only one or two classes per day. My longest day on record is 4 hours in one day, that's to say, 4 hours in a row, not over the space of a 9-5pm day. It was either a few classes in the morning, or that one particular day. I finished at 1pm every day bar that day last year. I had what you called an easy academic life. Nothing particuarly challenging, with subjects I was fairly comfortable with and a daily dose of QMU banter.

That is, of course, until I came to Poitiers, and enrolled at the Univ. de Poitiers - widely regarded as the hell hole. My university timetable now consists of:

Monday: 10am - 4pm
Tuesday: 9am - 7pm (!!!!!!!!!)
Wednesday: 12pm - 1.30pm
Thursday: 8.30am - 12.30pm
Friday: Off :)

Now. Despite Tuesday being quite literally hell on earth, I would say it is a balanced timetable. I would gladly stay late and have more classes in one day so that I can have 2 afternoons and a Friday off uni. But it is hard. I have 3 translation classes (Theme, Version and a mixture of both); a British civilisation class (why not?); 2 literature classes; an essay/ mini dissertation class and Lingua, ie french for foreigners (the 7pm class :/)

It's a fairly competant timetable, but one I am actually enjoying. The first week back was amusing enough! Hannah drank copious Green tea (the "Posh" kind of green tea, might I add :P), Zoe endlessly fretted about translation classes but turns out she has a knack for them, and I sang about being trapped in cabinets. It all started in the Theme translation class when the class was trying to decide what word to use: wardrobe, cupboard, drawers, cabinets... Which lead to an impromptu break out of The Mighty Boosh's song "Captain Cabinet" (Youtube it if you aren't familiar) which goes alone the lines of:

Captain Cabinet, trapped in cabinets!
Can he get out? Will he get out? Course he will!

We sang this for the best part of the day. At lunch, we spent an hour talking about what we each call various cupboard-esque things in the house, for example: Zoe calls a display cabinet a dresser, when Hannah and I agreed a dresser is what you have in your bedroom to do your make up at etc. Hannah calls what Zoe and I regard as kitchen units, G-Units (no correlation to rap, at all!), and so forth. We also discussed cubby holes, and what they were exactly - we still aren't sure. Before going to the next class, we laughed saying "How funny would it be if the next teacher mentioned cabinets?"

It turned out to be fantastic. On discussing a rather dull French - English translation, a part came up where the narrator was talking about neighbours. I can't exactly remember the exact words, but the teacher ended up saying: "... I mean, it's not like they were trapped in a cabinet!". I actually thought my head would explode I tried so hard not to laugh. Still, we sang the song over and over, laughing about it probably too loudly, as the French kids obviously thought we were mad. This continued in British Civilisation, as we carried on to be unnecessarily loud and outlandishly British in the class, further ostracising us from our fellow class mates. Still, we don't all need French friends, do we?

Sadly, I have contracted the lurgy and my glands and neck are swelling out of control. Think of an upside down snowman, and you'll get a rough idea of how I look.

Trapped in cabinets!!!

The great return

Return date to Poitiers, France: Thursday 6th January 2011

Christmas and New Year:

Bonne Année tout le monde and welcome to part two of my ERASMUS adventure! Well, it has been a month since I last updated, so I guess I better give a quick run through of our plane journeys, acitivies over Christmas and New Year, and ofcourse the madness that has ensued since my return to the ever ridiculous Poitiers.

Hannah, Hannah, Jess, Lorna and I successfully managed to take the plane from Poitiers to London Stanstead, not before I weighed everyone's cases a million times and proceeded to be "the mother" to ensure that we all had the necessary documents etc. The plane ride was mostly funny, as we decided not to be the quiet and conscientious types of travellers; Still, after just over an hour on the plane we landed safely and London and bid a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to Lorna, as she went to catch the train to her brother's. So, Hannah x2, Jess and I had a Burger King, got some Irn Bru, and sat at the arrival's section, watching the many happy reunions between families and friends at this festive season. It was touching especially to see grandparents reunited with grandchildren etc, especially with one old man in particular who was greeted by his wife by having a flower put behind his ear. True love never dies!

There was also the odd moment where people kept walking past the people who were arriving, as if trying to find a check in desk at the arrivals section? Departure: You're doing it wrong! After an hour or so, Hannah McAvoy and I had to head through security to board our Glasgow flight. Not without any complications, mind you. The 3 most annoying people in the world just so happened to be in front of us in the queue, one of them schreeching with contempt as she was asked to simply remove her boots and jacket "for security reasons". Like any sane person, she "made a joke" that went something along the lines of "But then you'll see my pistol", which caused a bit of an upstart between security staff. Eventually we got through, got on the plane, and each made it safely home to Scotland. In the freezing, baltic cold.

Christmas and New Year were excellent, mainly because I say everyone and was out almost every night, including 1 too many trips to Word Up! The highlight of the trip though had to be Dunning's 20th birthday in Dakota, where far too  many £2 whiskeys and lemonade and shots were consumed! It was a great laugh all night with some amazing banter and amazing photos; see my facebook if you want a laugh!

My parents once again spoiled me with money, food and gifts over the Christmas period and I was far more settled at home this time and miss them more this time around. Fortunately, my sister and her boyfriend will be coming to Paris for our birthday (5th Feb, if you want to know), and my parents in March, so I don't feel too bad about it all! I managed to fly alllll by myself from Glasgow to London, then met Aoife and Bethany in the queye for the Poitiers flight and made it safely back to Funkytown and spent the night at Renaud's, eating copious amounts of cheese and retelling stories about parties we had been to. L'amour :)

The first fortnight of the second semester:

It has been an INSANE return to reality over the past 2 weeks (Well, just under 2 weeks, if you really wanna be picky about it). As previously mentioned, I stayed with Renaud until Friday, then it was back to centre ville for the first party at Dimitri's and the introduction of some of the new ERASMUS folk, then Saturday was another trip in centre ville and  a party at Adrian's old house. Sunday was spent mostly doing nothing, as was Monday, but then Tuesday rolled around and brought on a 5 day binge. Ok, I wasn't drunk every night, it was more just a few drinks every night, except Thursday, and maybe Wednesday, and last night. But still. The was so much banter to be had! And some much needed time with a friend who was leaving. Lorna Canon will be sadly missed, but we will see her in Austria in the near future! In the mean time, Hannah G has taken over her life, I mean moved into her old flat, so balance has somewhat been restored.

The most notable events have been: The giraffe Lorna, Hannah and I shared in Café des arts whilst chatting to the very friendly and awesome barman (not Steve); The drinks and heartfelt talk at Lorna and Hannah's before hitting the karaoke then randomly meeting people in the street and walking with them for ages; when Katie, Hannah Mc and Marta came to mine and we listened to Trance music WAY too loudly, and then Crazy Lady shouted at us IN ENGLISH: "This is our space too!" . We had said to the new German guy: "Yeah", "Come out with us" and "Aye!". It's OUR space too then, idiot. We also went to the Pilori that night which was  a new experience for me and it was a laugh. Then last night with the exciting cocktails from Minima and a trip to est ouest proved to be more than enough for me and I went home for some sleep. But couldn't sleep till after 6 am. Boak.

This semester will hopefully have even better experiences than last semester, with better weather, new and old friends, and a host of new banter.

Bisous x